just further down the road

I thought you might find it interesting to observe me processing a difficult and trying experience. 

Last Saturday, I was driving in Spokane on North Division and was involved in a fender bender.  I bumped the car in front of me.  No one was injured and there was little or no property damage.  No air bags went off and Law Enforcement was not called. We exchanged information and went about our lives.    

I reported this to my insurance carrier just like I explained it here.  No excuses, it just happened.  I suspect that is why they call it an “accident”.

Today I was notified by my insurance carrier that the female driver of the car I bumped, decided she sustained injuries and is going to her doctor. 

 My dilemma is this. 

At the scene, she and I talked quite a while and we were both “uninjured”.  Now a few days later, she decided to change her status to “injured”. 

 Honestly, my mind tells me that if she were truly injured, then the right thing for her to do is seek medical treatment as soon as possible.  However, my heart keeps telling me that if she is looking for a year of free massages and a “payday” ~ then I am less than thrilled. 

 I am struggling with a myriad of emotions. Which means that I have retyped this paragraph 4 times and ended up deleting each of them. 

WHY?  Because I was too honest and they came across self-righteous and angry when I proof-read them. I can't have you thinking that of me.  

Yes, the good Lord is whacking me in the back of the head, trying to get me to be humble and trusting.  The problem is, I don’t want to ~ so there is a battle of “the wills” going on.  My will or God’s will.  That sounded stupid when I thought it and looks even stupider on paper. 

 My dear wife knows how much this situation distresses me.  So she asked me, “If someone came to you and told you the same story, what would you tell that person?”  The old scenario of a doctor healing himself. 

That is when I realized the amazing truth that there is 10,000 miles between a person’s head and a person’s heart. In my mind, I can rationalize this, quote Bible verses, pad it with religious platitudes and establish a “Christian perspective” on the situation. 

However, in my heart, I am….. sad. 

My head repeatedly tells me that everything will work out fine.  My heart doubts everything and (at this point) is struggling to see the light. 

I believe this is healthy for me to BLOG this for 2 reasons:

#1.  You need to know that I don’t live in a perfect world without stress or fear.  Someone wrote, “success is on the same road as failure ~ just further down the road”.  So often when people ask me for advice, I am simply “further down the road”.  I have already, “been there ~ done that ~ and got the tee shirt”.     

#2.  There are a number of real world applications for this BLOG.  Not the least of which is the simple point that everything is in God’s hands. It is healthy for you to know that I too struggle to “walk by faith”.  "Worry" and "Stress" is simply telling God HE can't handle it and needs your help. 

Then Jesus said, “Come to me,

all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest.  
Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you,
because I am humble and gentle at heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.”  Matthew 11:28-29

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart.

And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.
So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27