The Exclusivity Rule

Years ago, I needed to hire a couple employees.  My dad has been involved in hiring 100’s of employees so I went to him for advice.  I remember he made a statement, “Hire people with work ethic and character ~ you can teach them everything else they need to know.” 

 Isn’t that good?  

Trying to teach an adult work ethic & character,                             

is like trying to push water uphill. 

 Over the years, I have listened to many couples struggling with marital issues.  And out of all those 100’s of hours, 2 words keep reoccurring:  TRANSPARENCY & EXCLUSIVITY.    

 “He who covers his sins

will not prosper,
But whoever confesses
and forsakes them
will have mercy.”
Proverbs 28:13

Transparency requires honesty, character, communication, and trust. 

Exclusivity requires discipline, contentment, focus, and effort. 

I will make one observation on this ~ then go eat pizza. 

Exclusivity is having your spiritual needs met by the good Lord ONLY. 

Ask yourself this, “Where do you go for comfort, peace and strength?” 

Exclusivity is having your emotional & physical needs met by the spouse the good Lord have you. We live in a world that offers a plethora of distractions that offer to meet needs outside of marriage. 

I worked with a guy that had a long distance relationship “on-line”.                    

 

He didn’t consider it “cheating” because it was all on-line and there was no physical contact.  In fact he never met her (he assumed it was a woman he was communicating with) in real life.  He convinced himself that he wasn’t hurting his wife and his marriage through his decisions.  And yes, today he is divorced. 

 Truth is, on-line relationships violate the exclusivity rule. 

 I counseled a family a few years ago that was having problems because the husband worked so many hours that he was never home.  Then when he was off work, he was an avid hunter of every animal that was legal to hunt.  So he was never home.  In my judgment, he violated the exclusivity rule twice ~ because he found two different ways to avoid his wife and kids.

 Anyway, I just wanted to push a couple ideas out there and pray it stimulates some conversation and challenges some comfort zones. 

 ¹⁸ Then the Lord God said,

“It is not good for the man to be alone.
I will make a helper who is just right for him.”
²⁰ He gave names to all the livestock,
all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals.
But still there was no helper just right for him.
²¹ So the Lord God caused the man
to fall into a deep sleep.
While the man slept,
the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs
and closed up the opening.
²² Then the Lord God made a woman
from the rib, and he brought her to the man.
²³ “At last!” the man exclaimed.
“This one is bone from my bone,
and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
because she was taken from ‘man.’”
²⁴ This explains why a man leaves
his father and mother
and is joined to his wife,
and the two are united into one.
Genesis 2:18-24