Tomorrow I am spending the day with a lifelong friend that is preparing to pass away. He worked hard his whole life, paid his bills and tried to treat his family and friends the way he wanted to be treated. I will forever remember him sitting in his road grader with a big grin on his face and his cap askew. His hands were gnarled with carpal tunnel, the result of decades of operating old road graders. His was a life well lived.
His wife is one of the most gentle kind people I have ever met in my life. She has asked me to walk with her through this heart rendering process. It is an honor to serve as a shoulder to lean on and a voice for prayer and hope.
I call it a process because it is 1/2 business, 1/2 spiritual, and 1/2 emotional. If you doubt that it costs you more than 100%, then you haven't walked through the valley of the shadow of death, as David calls it in Psalm 23. When the whole process is over and you are sitting alone in the dark, you feel depleted, drained, empty.
So I am going to do two things in this blog. First, offer a few practical thoughts that you need to give some thought to. Second, give you a few verses from Scripture that sheds light on encouragement and eternal hope.
#1. Contact a funeral director that you trust and ask for a meeting to make "pre arrangements". There are a number of issues that need to be wrote down and filed away. For instance, do you prefer cremation or burial? If you prefer cremation, the funeral director has paperwork for you to sign. Also, if you would like to pay for your service in advance and not leave that burden to your family, the funeral director will direct you to reputable businesses (like Purple Cross) that handle these affairs. Your meeting with the funeral director will take about an hour.
#2. Take care of your will. I have observed the devastation resulting from someone passing away without a will. This is already an emotionally charged time and your will can add guidance and peace.
#3. Talk to a pastor about the funeral service. If you have favorite songs or a favorite poem or a favorite vacation story or a favorite childhood memory or a favorite memory from your military service, pass it along to the pastor for a personal touch at your service. Your shared memories is what moves a service from a routine funeral to a celebration of life.
Second, God's Word has verses that remove the sting of grieving and provides comfort, peace and perspective. I personally do not think there is any more comforting passage than Psalm 23. It never gets old, can never be worn out, and always offers comfort.
On a different note, I listed many verses from Scripture that are commonly used for funeral / memorial services. F.Y.I. a funeral is where the deceased is present in a casket and a memorial service is where the deceased is not present.
Psalm 116:15
Precious in the sight of the LORD
is the death of his faithful servants.
John 14:1-4
Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.
2 Timothy 4:6-8
the time for my departure is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.
Revelation 21:4
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.
1 Thessalonians 4:13-14
But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.
Romans 8:37-38
we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 14:8
For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord's.
2 Corinthians 5:6-8
So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. For we walk by faith, not by sight. We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.
1 Thessalonians 4:17-18
Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words.
Psalm 48:14
For this is God, Our God forever and ever; He will be our guide even to death.
Psalm 91:1-2
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust."
Psalm 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear
Isaiah 41:10, 13
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. . . . For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.
2 Corinthians 15:8
we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.
