Have you ever had a week where your wheels just never seemed to stop spinning?
Truck drivers get paid by the mile.... country pastors do not.
However, there is a silver lining to my busy week....
I get to spend a lot of miles with my wife.
Due to gas prices and our vehicles getting a lot of miles on them,
Michele and I are making a conscious effort to car-pool as much as possible.
This week, our car-pooling has taken us from Spokane to Republic,
and it is only Tuesday.
We have found that no matter what is happening in our lives, the one place that we can go as a married couple to spend quality time together, is to take a road trip together.
We discovered this very early in our marriage and it has proven to be a consistent in our relationship.
A couple years ago, we decided that we were going to be motorcycle people. We got our endorcements and purchased bikes. However, there was a serious problem. We LOST our connection when we were on our motorcycles. We were surprised to find that we both were disappointed at how unsatisfying the motorcycle trips were because it violated the connection we always had on road trips.
Quality time with no distractions is a rare thing in our society today.
So my first free question for you is, "Where is the special place that you and your spouse go to be alone together without distractions?"
Remember this, "Priorities never conflict".
So if your relationship is a priority, you will make time to be together.
Another thought along this same line is, "A good definition of LOVE is -- ATTENTION".
If you love someone, you will make them a priority and set aside time to give her/him your undivided attention.
We live in a very busy and cynical world. It is important that you have a place where your relationship can go -- and be protected from the world and all its distractions.
Think of your relationship as a plant. It can die from neglect or it can flourish from proper care. It will struggle to survive if it is planted in a crowded pot.
Let me give you a word to think about: EXCLUSIVITY
1. Maintaining exclusive barriers
2. Not allowing something else; mutually exclusive conditions
3. Not divided or shared with others
4. Not accompanied by others
5. Undivided: gained their exclusive attention
Ask yourself this: "Am I keeping my relationship with my spouse exclusive?"
Or have you allowed other priorities to creep in
and steal a bit of the exclusiveness away from your relationship?
I had a married friend that spent hours searching on-line internet dating sites.
He even exchanged e-mails with some of the women he met on-line.
He convinced himself that since he wasn't meeting them in "person",
that he wasn't being "unfaithful" to his wife.
When his wife found out, she didn't see it that way.
God designed marriage for two people to receive all the validation and love they from each other.
So to reach outside the marriage for an emotional connection -- is to violate the EXCLUSIVITY that God intended for married people to protect and cherish.
"Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
It does not demand its own way.
It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful,
and endures through every circumstance."
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Coloring Outside Traditional Lines
One of the downsides of being "transparent", is that it shows weaknesses that can be criticized and used against you. However, in my line of work, being transparent is a gift (that keeps on giving). I have found that if I am honest with people, there is a likely chance that they will eventually be honest with me. The flip side is, if I am religious in how I approach people, then they will put on a religious attitude when they talk to me.
“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong" 2 Corinthians 12:9-11
Anyway, back to the whole coloring outside the lines idea.
Most guys go to Bible College for 4 years, invest 3 years in Seminary, then serve as an associate pastor in a large church or learn to pastor in a small church. Either way, that is the common career path for a pastor. The downside is that 8 years of Bible College and Seminary will set you back $60,000+ in school loans. The upside is a career than will start you out around $2,000 a month before taxes. Anyway....
God led me down a different path. Not an easier path. Not a path that I would recommend to anyone else. At first I thought the career path God was leading me down was much like the Children of Israel wandering around in the desert for 40 years. It seemed like I was spending a lot of years in some unusual places, and none of it serving as a pastor.
After a stint in a traditional Bible College, I found myself in the U.S. Army stationed in Central America for 3 years. Then I worked in jail for 20 years. And somewhere along the line God nudged me toward a overlooked place to pastor, small country churches that are too small to afford a full time pastor. My dad always told me, "Son, Moffitt's live off the interest of the money we owe".
So I would work full time in Corrections and pastor small country churches on the weekends (if my Corrections rotating shift schedule allowed). Sometimes the churches would pay enough to cover my gas and sometimes they would cough up enough to pay for my gas and lunch. Either way, I was happy, I was serving as a pastor.
The rabbit trails that God led me down prior to my being a pastor was not wasted.
First, God taught me a great deal about my own weaknesses and limitations. I agreed with the Apostle Paul, "I am chief of sinners" (1 Timothy 1:15). I consider humility an invaluable skill set for all Christians. The problem is, humility is always found on the other side of brokenness. God often has to lead us to places that breaks our pride and brings us to a place where we get a reality check on who we are and who God is. This is painful but healthy.
Second, God taught me a great deal about cutting people slack. Forgiveness is something that Jesus practiced. Carrying grudges is a sin. And face it, passing judgment on people that are in the middle of God's teaching moments, is just wrong. Since God is working in people's lives to bring them to himself, I need to be encouraging them not casting stones at them in my arrogant comfort zone. Do not get me wrong, I am not suggesting that we excuse or compromise with sin, the things God clearly forbids us to do in His Word. However, if someone is struggling with a sin and God is working in their heart to bring them to a place of repentance and forgiveness, the last thing I should do is throw them under the bus. It is my God given duty to serve as a bridge that brings them into a healthy relationship with God.
Third, God taught me that everything is not all about me. Truth is, it seldom is about me. When people are angry and lash out with angry words and hurt my feelings, how often are they struggling with family issues, financial issues, career issues, rebellious teenage issues, (this is a long list). God just happened to bring me, His servant, into their lives at this particular point to serve as a bridge to bring them one step closer to Him. Or, of course, I can react like a lunatic an defend myself and proclaim my rights.
Sorry, this is sounding a great deal like a sermon and less like a blog. I apologize. But there are a couple things stuck crossways in my craw and God expects Christians, His Children, to act like Him and not like the unsaved world.
When people find out I am a pastor, 95% of them immediately tell me a story of how a church or a Christian hurt them. The first few years, I was skeptical, but over time, I have observed a consistent pattern. And if we are going to be followers of Jesus Christ then we need to break the pattern and color outside the lines.
I suspect that sometime in the future, God will lead me to revisit this topic. But for now, I know that God is challenging me to encourage Christians to spend time every day in His Word and find out exactly how He wants us to live, how He wants us to treat other people, and most of all, find out how He expects us to treat Him.
John 13:35, "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another"
“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong" 2 Corinthians 12:9-11
Anyway, back to the whole coloring outside the lines idea.
Most guys go to Bible College for 4 years, invest 3 years in Seminary, then serve as an associate pastor in a large church or learn to pastor in a small church. Either way, that is the common career path for a pastor. The downside is that 8 years of Bible College and Seminary will set you back $60,000+ in school loans. The upside is a career than will start you out around $2,000 a month before taxes. Anyway....
God led me down a different path. Not an easier path. Not a path that I would recommend to anyone else. At first I thought the career path God was leading me down was much like the Children of Israel wandering around in the desert for 40 years. It seemed like I was spending a lot of years in some unusual places, and none of it serving as a pastor.
After a stint in a traditional Bible College, I found myself in the U.S. Army stationed in Central America for 3 years. Then I worked in jail for 20 years. And somewhere along the line God nudged me toward a overlooked place to pastor, small country churches that are too small to afford a full time pastor. My dad always told me, "Son, Moffitt's live off the interest of the money we owe".
So I would work full time in Corrections and pastor small country churches on the weekends (if my Corrections rotating shift schedule allowed). Sometimes the churches would pay enough to cover my gas and sometimes they would cough up enough to pay for my gas and lunch. Either way, I was happy, I was serving as a pastor.
The rabbit trails that God led me down prior to my being a pastor was not wasted.
First, God taught me a great deal about my own weaknesses and limitations. I agreed with the Apostle Paul, "I am chief of sinners" (1 Timothy 1:15). I consider humility an invaluable skill set for all Christians. The problem is, humility is always found on the other side of brokenness. God often has to lead us to places that breaks our pride and brings us to a place where we get a reality check on who we are and who God is. This is painful but healthy.
Second, God taught me a great deal about cutting people slack. Forgiveness is something that Jesus practiced. Carrying grudges is a sin. And face it, passing judgment on people that are in the middle of God's teaching moments, is just wrong. Since God is working in people's lives to bring them to himself, I need to be encouraging them not casting stones at them in my arrogant comfort zone. Do not get me wrong, I am not suggesting that we excuse or compromise with sin, the things God clearly forbids us to do in His Word. However, if someone is struggling with a sin and God is working in their heart to bring them to a place of repentance and forgiveness, the last thing I should do is throw them under the bus. It is my God given duty to serve as a bridge that brings them into a healthy relationship with God.
Third, God taught me that everything is not all about me. Truth is, it seldom is about me. When people are angry and lash out with angry words and hurt my feelings, how often are they struggling with family issues, financial issues, career issues, rebellious teenage issues, (this is a long list). God just happened to bring me, His servant, into their lives at this particular point to serve as a bridge to bring them one step closer to Him. Or, of course, I can react like a lunatic an defend myself and proclaim my rights.
Sorry, this is sounding a great deal like a sermon and less like a blog. I apologize. But there are a couple things stuck crossways in my craw and God expects Christians, His Children, to act like Him and not like the unsaved world.
When people find out I am a pastor, 95% of them immediately tell me a story of how a church or a Christian hurt them. The first few years, I was skeptical, but over time, I have observed a consistent pattern. And if we are going to be followers of Jesus Christ then we need to break the pattern and color outside the lines.
I suspect that sometime in the future, God will lead me to revisit this topic. But for now, I know that God is challenging me to encourage Christians to spend time every day in His Word and find out exactly how He wants us to live, how He wants us to treat other people, and most of all, find out how He expects us to treat Him.
John 13:35, "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another"
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